August 01, 2010 | Posted in Editor's Notes | 2 Comment(s) | Share Article |
Just when you thought your children had outgrown the temper tantrums of toddlerhood and evolved into more stable and teachable four- to eight-year-olds, the “tween” or pre-teen phase descends upon you like an unexpected call in the middle of the night. Some time after the nine or so candles on the birthday cake have been blown, your “nice kids” begin to baffle you with their changed personalities.
Gone is their adoration and unconditional devotion to you. Their acquiescing nature is replaced by rudeness and rebellion. They get smart-alecky. They talk back often and sap your energy with long-drawn power tussles. Some of them become dreamy and slip in their school grades. Others become vain and materialistic, demanding to own what their peers have. (Parents who are fortunate enough to sail through this stage will still have the tempestuous teenage years to contend with.)
Pre-teens display the growing pains that are a shadow of what is to come when they eventually become teenagers. Tweens are neither young enough to be unquestioningly compliant nor old enough to be truly independent. They are in a very awkward phase of life. As their bodies undergo physical changes, they are filled with both curiosity and dismay. Some tweens dislike their evolving bodies as unfamiliar hormones start to surge within them. Maybe they don’t like the inconvenience of menstruation or the embarrassment of their cracking voice. Or, that their once perfect complexion will now sprout unsightly pimples like so-and-so they know. Perhaps they are apprehensive about what being a grown-up means.
“The road to puberty is paved with angst.”
The road to puberty is paved with angst. That’s why parents must not let their tweens walk this road alone. This is the phase in which parental coaching should begin, if it hasn't already.
Parenting pre-teens gives us invaluable hands-on practice for greater future challenges. It is akin to a critical probationary period – failure now to get through to your tweens diminishes your chances of success in their teen years. One tween at home is a handful; two or more at a time may severely test your sanity. At times, you doubt your own competence as a parent, especially when your tough tween defies you in full view of your in-laws or friends.
We hope the assortment of articles pertaining to parenting pre-teens, which will be posted gradually over the coming weeks, will remind you that you are not alone in your struggle. Others who have walked before you are happy to share with you their experiences!
Barbara Tey
Web Editor
February 04, 2012 at 10:42:41
I told my wife that a habsund is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
February 19, 2012 at 09:35:34
trying to the child to discuss what makes them upset. Knowing these lessons into unwanted negative and aggression you should. Parents let children because they lack the ability of parent can inflict venomous poison