May 02, 2010 | Posted in Editor's Notes | Post a comment | Share Article |
During his presentation some years ago, a lawyer tried to give an example of “temporary insanity”. So he asked, “Remember the last time you got angry with your kids?”
Frankly, I have broken almost every rule of parenting. I have yelled, heaped negative labels on my children, made them terribly upset, neglected them in the name of work and used my unfair advantage as a parent to get my way at times. And whereas in some countries I might have been penalised for executing corporal punishment, I have silently sentenced myself a million times over in the court of my own conscience.
Enter the hurt locker. According to the Online Slang Dictionary, the hurt locker is a metaphorical place that one goes to while experiencing distress, defeat or other forms of hurt. Now without getting into technical arguments, I believe the mother’s hurt locker is a private place where she bares her soul, agonises over her pain, grieves over her guilt, then nurses the wounds of her domestic battles and psyches herself back to reality, ready for life’s next action. At least that’s how my hurt locker works.
Children, including mine, if you are reading this, please remember that your mummy loves you dearly no matter how terribly mad she was with you just a while ago. Your mummy was upset simply because she felt hurt at something you did. Though she doesn’t always keep her cool, her love for you is the warmest you can ever hope for.
Mothers, the hurt locker is just a temporary place to be in. The greater part of our purpose is achieved outside of it. Come to think of it, maybe we should call it the heal locker instead and throw in a happy locker as well.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Barbara Tey
Web Editor
Portrait of Barbara by Ferron Tey, aged 9
